Intergalactic Peace Corp
by Risknight
Summary: Captain Leonard Hofstadter is the captain of a new military spaceship. Life is good. It would be great if it wasn't for his annoying ship's doctor.


**I was given a challenge by mariteri to write a story involving TBBT and space soldiers. I hope you all enjoy what my mind came up with.**

* * *

Captain Leonard Hofstadter looked around the bridge of his ship with smug pleasure. His very own command! Finally he had the power! He had a brand new ship. He had a high profile military mission. Each crew member was the best in their field. The only fly in the ointment was the doctor.

His ship's doctor was not the one he had asked for. He wanted Dr. Stephanie Bartlett. She had very talented hands. She was a good physician, as well. Cooper had been head physician on the Galmedia before being placed here. Rumor had it he was almost drummed out of the Intergalactic Peace Corp for insubordination. As far as Leonard was concerned, the man was on thin ice. One wrong move, one act of insubordination on _his_ ship, and Cooper would find himself marooned on an asteroid.

"Captain? Incoming message from IPC headquarters," Ensign Fowler said coyly.

Leonard smirked at her, remembering how loudly she screamed his name last night. She thought sex would move her up in rank. It wouldn't, but he was perfectly happy availing himself of what she offered so eagerly.

"I'll take it in my office," he answered, striding toward the door. It was probably another message of congratulations. How he loved seeing his former rivals kiss up to him now.

* * *

Sheldon Cooper finished double checking his medical supplies and looked around his infirmary with excitement. Finally! His dream was almost realized. He was sick to death of the massive transport ships. Tens of thousands of passengers all complaining of space sickness, unexpected constipation, disrupted sleep cycles, or just plain old ennui. The three years on those ships had served their purpose. He was finally exactly where he wanted to be.

Soon, his every wish would be fulfilled. He felt positively giddy at the prospect.

* * *

Leonard smiled as he read the message. Since his ship was bound for the Yardly system , the IPC wanted him to make a little side stop. He looked at the picture on his view screen and felt his body harden in anticipation. He quickly read the stats on the prisoner again.

Penelope Queen.

Age: 31.

Height: 5'6".

Blonde.

Hazel eyes.

36-26-34.

Tattoo of ancient Earth language (Chinese) on lower left buttock.

Convicted of the following:

Carrying a deadly weapon - 9 counts

Assault - 53 counts

Inciting a riot - 4 counts

Resisting arrest - 12 counts

1st Degree Murder - 8 counts

2nd Degree Murder - 2 counts

3rd Degree Murder -1 count

4th Degree Murder - 4 counts

5th Degree Murder - 3 counts

Murder By Proxy - 1 count

Apparently she had placed explosives in an Admiral's cheeseburger. When he bit into it, his head exploded. She was an assassin. She had no respect for human life. She was beautiful, sexy, and mysterious. She was also scum. She would spend the rest of her life in a 10X10 cell. If she was lucky, she would last a year in the toughest prison the IPC had ever created. If she was very, _very_ lucky, she'd die quickly.

Well, in thirty minutes, she would be on his ship, bound for the penal colony on the third moon of Trembor. It would take six space days to get there, and he could imagine all kinds of things to do that amount of time. After all, she was a criminal, and no one cared what happened to them.

* * *

Penny opened her eyes as the cell door opened. The two men guarding her stood and removed the restraints tethering her to the bench. She stood and rotated her neck and shoulders. Eight hours hunched over her own knees had been murder on her back.

"Step onto the transport pad," the larger one growled in what she assumed was his most menacing tone.

She stepped onto the spot he indicated and turned to face them. Both guards flinched and one swallowed hard. She smirked and blew a kiss their way. The shorter one actually took a step backwards. "It's been fun, boys," she said with a laugh.

The metallic panels of her transport capsule rose up from the floor to fully encase her. The seams sealed tightly and a mechanical arm loaded it into the chute. A heartbeat later the capsule was speeding through space toward the Olympia. Penny grimaced as her stomach rolled. She probably shouldn't have eaten those burritos. She closed her eyes and tried to get comfy. The trip was eleven minutes long. And then her every wish would be fulfilled.

* * *

Leonard glared at the tall physician standing near the door. "Do you need something, Cooper?" he growled.

Sheldon looked at the narcissistic captain blandly. "A new person is coming aboard. Regulations state I have to clear them, medically, before they are released from the capsule."

Leonard clenched his jaw. He wanted to order the man away, but the last thing he wanted was to catch some space STD. He let out a frustrated breath slowly, and nodded. He had six days. A few minutes made little difference.

With a loud hiss, the airlock released on the docking port. Sheldon checked the sensors and nodded to himself. He opened the door and stepped inside, the captain close on his heels. He checked the capsule's readings and entered the code to open it. There was a moment of silence before he reached under his shirt and pulled out the phaser. He pressed it into her hand and stepped back.

Leonard leered at the luscious blonde for two whole seconds before she raised the weapon and fired. Pain burst over his left shoulder and he dropped to his feet.

He stared, dumbfounded, as the prisoner stepped out of the capsule and grabbed the doctor by his uniform. She gave a little tug and Cooper bent down to kiss her.

"Wha…" Leonard wondered if he was having a nightmare.

Cooper looked over at him with a smile. "Captain, I'm afraid we're going to have to commandeer your ship. I find the idea of my wife going to prison a bit distasteful."

Leonard tried to focus, but the pain was excruciating. "Tr…trait..or"

Penny tilted her head and smiled wider. "Actually, Moon Pie is the most loyal person I know." She knelt in front of Leonard and giggled. "Want to know a little secret?" she whispered loudly. "The rest of your crew are ours, as well. Amy is my sister. The others have been with me for years. This ship was ours long before you ever set foot on it."

Leonard shook his head in disbelief. He whimpered when Penny raised the phaser again. He opened his mouth to beg for his life, but he never got the chance to speak.

Penny tucked the phaser into her waistband and watched Sheldon drag the body into the capsule. He changed the settings on the guidance system and reset it. They left the docking port, hand in hand, the muted sound of the capsule being launched in the background.

Penny hit the comm on the wall. "Ames? Get us moving. We'll be up later."

Amy's voice floated back to them through the comm, her tone amused. "Welcome back, sis. Take your time. Howard has already got us turned around. We'll let you know when we're out of the IPC territory."

"I've got everything prepared," Sheldon informed her calmly. "We'll be in the Feris system before they realize you've escaped."

"Wonderful," Penny purred. "You know, I'm actually looking forward to retirement."

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Really"

Penny looked up at him, sincerity shining in her eyes. "I'm tired of death and bloodshed. I'm tired of rarely seeing you. I'm sick of being alone. We have more than enough Ferician credits to support every one of us in decadence for several lifetimes. All I want now is to spend the rest of my life in your arms."

Sheldon kissed her passionately. "Sounds like heaven to me," he said.


End file.
